Night Before Christmas

'T'was the night before Christmas and all about the house,
 Not a soul was stirring, not even a -'
 Actually, there were several mice stirring in the cellar of this particular house, not to mention a beetle boozing in the buttery, a silverfish skating in the bath and a squirrel hibernating in the attic.
 And in the only room without a fire burning in the hearth you can see...

Oh, dear.

This is Alice and Alice is the personal maid/body slave of Miss Mercy and Miss Clemency Gently-Benevolent, whom you may remember wrote a charming letter to Santa's evil niece asking for a slave boy several Christmas' ago. Alice has had the misfortune to get caught in an argument between the two ladies and it's all Forbe's fault...
Allow me to clarify:
 Forbes isn't their butler, the Forbes I am referring to is the internet magazine which every year presents it's subscribers with charming little lists of information such as 'The World's Wealthiest People' and 'Ten Ways To Make A Fortune'...
Well, they also uploaded a list of the '15 Wealthiest Fictional Characters'...
And listed Scrooge McDuck as Number 1.
And that's where the trouble started.
"Hah!' crowed Miss Mercy; 'They've got THAT wrong! Everybody knows that Santa is the biggest billionaire of them all! After all, not only has he money enough to buy presents for all the children in the world, but he's also the world's largest distributer of nutty slack!'*

*(Which is what you'll find in your stocking if you're naughty.)

"Ah," said Miss Clemency; "Santa isn't on the list because Santa is REAL."
"In which case, he'll appear on the list of Real Billionaires..."

And guess what... HE DOESN'T.

Which lead to the sort of spat only sisters can have...
Just then, Alice entered the room with a tray and their nightcaps.
The two women looked at her.. then looked at each other and said in unison:
"I have an idea."
And that's when Alice had a terrible urge to pee herself.
With fear. 
And so the room is set:
There are fires in all the other hearths. There is sherry and a glass and some mince pies set out for Santa and a maid taped to a chair and on offer at both ends.
The Ladies of the house are tucked up in a double bed, shackled at the ankle so that one can't leave the bed without waking the other.
If Santa doesn't come, well the room will be as they left it.
And if he does... There'll be presents (or coal) in their stockings, the mince pies will have been eaten, the sherry will be drunk and Alice will have an interesting tale to tell...

Though frankly, who's going to believe a word she says?

Merry Christmas One and All; Integral.