Sleepy Byes

"Time for sleepy-byes, shithead.
 I've decided to be nice and cruel to you tonight, so you're going to lying on this nice, uncomfortable gravelly floor with all these nasty sharp stones sticking into your flesh; rather than let you sleep on my bed of nails.
 And to make sure you can't get a comfortable position, I'm locking the leash I've attached to your bell-end to this ring on the wall. So I'd avoid any sudden movements if you don't want to be foreshortened.
 Anyway, I'm off out for a few hours at my favourite wine bar, but I promise I'll look in on you before I go to bed.... I might even give you some of my wine when I do so....
 'Second Hand' of course..."